Odd that I’ve gotten here. I’ve watched my uber healthy experimenting hubz go without sugar. But me? Nah.
Yet, the other day I was meditating, and a thought wafted up from within. “reduce sugar intake.”
When I get wafts from below, I’m learning that it is from a fuller knowledge system within. It’s like little bubbles burbling upwards into my mind. I can tell when It is from my mind, and it feels different and without the bubbles.
I don’t know about you, but my mind is where my shoulds, oughts, trending graspings, fears, insecurities do a lot of talking. And the mind thinks it is the boss. It thinks it is everything. Because the body, emotions, and soul do not think. They experience. Often in metaphor, sometimes in words, always in truth.
If my mind had conjured a thought like “reduce sugar intake” I would have been successful for about 3 hours, until the next temptation presented itself.
But this is what I think is happening.
Food and I go way back. Food represents being in a type of need. Not physical need, my parents worked hard to make sure we had all we needed. But it represented an emotional need. And I just couldn’t get enough. Mom was a good cook and baker. The lack wasn’t in what she offered and taught us. It was within me. I had an emotional need that was huge.
Fast forward, say 50 years, and you’ve got an adult who has done her work. Still doing her work. Looking forward to 40 more years of doing inner work. And food doesn’t serve me as it once did. I love a good meal, good tastes…you know, the kind where you have to close your eyes, it’s just that good. But now, food does not have a role in my emotional well being. And my body knows it.
By bubbling up the invitation, it was effectively saying, “You’re ready.” Ready to move on. Uplevel. Engage life and myself from a new vantage point.
So it is day 6. I have not had one sugar craving. I’ve had to fight habits. But as soon as I get through the initial stages of the triggers of the habit, I’m fine. What have I done? I am starting with simply not adding sugar or anything akin to sweet. Nor am I eating the obvious things: cookies, those blueberry scones at Roscoe’s that I’m smelling right this second, hot chocolate or IKEA lingenberry jam on my meatballs. For now, I’m not worrying about the added sugar in processed foods because I don’t eat many of those. I’m not worrying about the carb/sugar thing for now. Just taking it simple and drinking my coffee bitter.
What are you feeling right now, reading through this? What is stirring within your within? Is it about food or is it about doing your work of becoming, uncloaking toward your truest self? Seriously, let’s do that together.
With you in bitter and in sweet
Amy